Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Top 10 Reasons why I'm Cooler Than You

10) I glow in the dark.
9) I have a lightsaber.
8) I smell like a sound.
7) I don't drink Bud light and wear stupid pin striped dress shirts and jeans from Ambercrombie and Fitch with a ratty baseball cap and Birkentstocks.
6) I don't have tattoes (Therefor I am unique)
5) I think Queens of the Stone age and Coldplay suck major balls.
4) When I get drunk I like to put on Eminem's "Without Me" really loud and rap along with it. Normally that would make me uncool, except, I'm so cool, I'll do it in a crowded bar while people are eating and flip off the elderly couple next to me, and somehow it's all perfectly OK.
3) I like to tell foreign cab drivers that my friends and I are in fact celebrities, and I like to give them autographs. I find giving Muslim cab drives autographs of "Peace be with you" to be especially amusing.
2) Ancient Egyptians worshiped my Phalus.
1) You're reading my blog.